A Month Off

I started my new job a few days ago so we decided to opt out of our timed cycle this month. This decision did not come lightly. I couldn’t stand the thought of “wasting” another month but I really need a moment to just breathe and focus on my new job.

We will pick back up when AF shows up in December. Wish us luck ❤️

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When Life Gets In The Way

This month was supposed to be our second timed cycle and our first cycle using a trigger shot. Everything was on schedule with the plan…except my husbands work schedule.

My husband is a lineman and he left last week to help restore the power in Florida after hurricane Michael. Needless to say, this cycle has been cancelled 😭

Here’s to another round of crazy hormone meds!

New Beginnings

I graduated college in August with my bachelor’s (whoooo hoooo) and I have been trying to figure out where I want to go from here.

My ultimate goal, of course, was to get a job using my degree. However, I have been so scared to leave my current job because of my fertility issues. I have been at my current job for 5 years now and my boss knows we are undergoing infertility treatments. My current job is extremely accommodating when it comes to my appointments.

I didn’t apply for any jobs for about two months because I thought it was the right thing to do. And then I realized, I can’t put my life on hold waiting on a baby. I can’t put my life on hold for fertility treatments.

So, I applied for a few jobs and I have officially accepted a new position! I am nervous and excited at the same time.

Depending on my work schedule, we may have to take a step back from fertility treatments for a few months. I am not excited about this part but I don’t really have a choice at this point. Wish me luck!

“And suddenly you know: It’s time to start something new and trust the magic of beginnings.”-Meister Eckhart

Birthdays

My mom turned 54 over the weekend and celebrating her birthday led me to wonder what I will ever do without her on this earth. She is a great mom and an ever better Mammy (to my nephews).

My heart hurts knowing I waited so long to try for children and that she may never get to see me be a mom. My husband and I have been together for (almost) 10 years and we were married for two years before we decided to try for a baby. My biggest regret is that we waited so long to try.

“I wish I would have met you sooner, so I could have loved you longer.”

Judgement

Judgement. We are all guilty of it (no matter how hard we try). I am not here to preach to you about judging. I am here to tell you to please, think twice before you do.

Last Saturday night, my husband and I decided to have a last minute date night. As we walked into a local restaurant, I noticed a woman in the corner immediately turn her nose up at me. She was dressed in heels and a dress and I was in leggings and a T-shirt. I watched her lean in and whisper and then turn to her friend and point.

I normally do not care what people think of me. I never really have. However, this time was different. I was in leggings and a T-shirt because none of my clothes fit right now, thanks to PCOS and my fertility meds. I had on no makeup because I didn’t really want to be there. My husband begged me for hours to go so that I would get out of the house and stop thinking about this months failed cycle (depression from infertility is a real thing, guys).

Before you judge, point, and whisper, please remember that you have NO IDEA what is going on in someone else’s life. That girl wearing a T-shirt to dinner may be holding on by a thread. That girl with no makeup on at dinner may have cried it all off on the way here. Please remember this next time you judge someone based on their appearance.

Timed Intercourse Results-BFN

Our first timed intercourse cycle officially failed. My heart is aching but I must continue.

I started letrozole again yesterday and I will go back to the fertility clinic on cycle day 14 for an ultrasound and blood work. If all goes as planned, I will take the trigger shot to help with ovulation. Please pray that this works! I feel like I am so close to giving up. ❤️

Timed Intercourse-Cycle One

Timed intercourse….sounds romantic huh? This is our first timed intercourse cycle. We had to cancel last month’s cycle because of my HSG results. Thankfully, my MRI results confirmed that I was cleared to continue with fertility treatments.

Today is cycle day 14 for me! Which means my morning started out with an ultrasound and lab work at the fertility clinic. My ultrasound showed that I have THREE follicles that are ready (thanks to the letrozole I took last week). The doctor sent us home with orders to “get busy” everyday for the next three days! Her last words were “I hope you are okay with twins.”

I left there feeling positive about this cycle, but I am trying so hard not to get my hopes up! I have to remind myself that the heartbreak will be so much worse if I get my hopes up. I hate to be negative Nancy but I feel like I should expect this cycle to fail just to protect my emotions.

I go back next Friday to check my progesterone and then on the 28th for my pregnancy test. If this cycle doesn’t work, we will repeat it next month and add a trigger shot.

Of all the two week waits I have had so far, I feel like this will be the longest. Of all the negative pregnancy tests I have taken so far, I feel like this will be the hardest. With PCOS, I have never been able to accurately pin point my ovulation date, I have always felt like we were just guessing. I have always assumed that is the main reason I have never been pregnant. This cycle is different because we know ovulation is going to happen in the next few days and we know when to “get busy”. If the doctor confirms I ovulated this cycle and still didn’t get pregnant, it will be a hard pill for me to swallow.